bejesus and bejabbers and befocus and begrace

I will need to start moving at a 12-13 page clip each essay from now on. Today I will focus on words from "bat" to "ben." I think I will begin with just a list of those I know I will need to focus on; then the fun will begin.

Tricky, Unusual and Unfamiliar Words

Because of the ubiquity of rebates in our society, there is no reason I shouldn't have known bate, meaning to restrain or deduct, but I just know that the little words trip me up, and I might just happen to spell it like the stuff you put on the line for fish unless I highlight it. So, there it is. Then there is a bathyscaphe, which I actually learned in about 5th grade when the things were rather new and someone was exploring the floor of the sea in one and our teacher brought it to our attention. I still remember her saying that you pronounce "phe" as "f." I thought that was really cool how "phe" could appear anywhere in a word an be an "f." But then there is battailous, pronounced BAD los, which is as full of mines as was Sarajevo in the 1990s, and which means warlike. A battalia is a large body of men ready for battle. Then there are the ballet words: battement (two syllables), batterie (accent on the ultima) and battu. And battu needs to be distinguished from battue, a word that means "beating the bushes." A bawbee is, you guessed it, a Scottish word (an obsolete coin), while bayadere is fabric with horizontal stripes. We get seriously into things French with bernaise and bechamel, and we travel to the Middle east to find a bedu or a begum (pronounced BAY gum). A beignet is a fritter, while belleek is thin porcelain named after a town in Northern Ireland. I have decided that for many of the words named after towns and people there simply is NO WAY to sound them out. You have to learn them by patient study.

In that regard, I have a tiny beef with people who say that spelling is "natural" and is an ability you either have or don't have. Almost all the people who say this are bad spellers, I have concluded, and they are covering up their inability to spell by some kind of "natural gift" argument. I would like to turn the argument around slightly and say, "No, it is just that you are lazy. No offense, but you probably spend your time watching reality TV and spending money at malls." Actually, maybe I mean a slight bit of offense. Oh maybe there are some correlations between various things and being able to spell, but don't give me this "it is natural" garbage. There is no way in the world that anyone, without studying, would have gotten paulownia correct (a word in the 2004 Oregon Bee). Just not possible. Now, maybe some spellers have better memories than couch-reclining, chip-eating, beer-guzzling, mall-shopping, meeting-attending, sports-center-watching Americans, but it is probably because they have worked at it.

To the Fun

I know that whenever I am getting a little out of sorts, I need to find some fun in words, and that is the subject to which I now turn. I noted that bat boy and bat girl are both here. The first entered into the language in 1925 and the second (guess which year) in 1969. A social history of America flashes before your eyes, doesn't it? Then, something of a religious history might dimly flicker before your eyes with two words: bejesus and bejabbers.

Bejesus (also spelled beejezus, so I guess it won't be in the Be; I mean Bee) is defined as "a mild oath; used as a noun for emphasis," as in the sentence, "scares the bejesus" out of me. The word was first attested in 1861, the year the Civil War broke out. That would have scared the bejesus out of me, too, I think. But then, I see that the preceding word is bejabbers. Its only definition is bejesus. The dictionary helpfully also tells us that it is a euphemism for Jesus. I would have thought it implicated Buddha, but I will accept the authority of the dictionary. But I note that the first attestation for bejabbers was in 1890, nearly 30 years after bejesus begraced our language.

Now I will imagine the situation where bejabbers entered American speech. It was, no doubt, in an Evangelical household. A teen-ager was talking about being frightened of something and confessed something that scared the bejesus out of him. His mother said, "I have warned you for years not to take the Lord's name in vain. I will not have you say that! Come up with something else!" So the kid shared the problem with a sympathetic adult, possibly a pastor, who suggested he say bejabbers instead of bejesus when he faced things that scared the former bejesus out of him. So, the boy complied. And, every time he said bejabbers, he REALLY meant bejesus, but since he said the magic word bejabbers his mother didn't get on his case anymore, and he was assured of temporal (if not eternal) peace.

But, the wonderful thing about Evangelicalism and other forms of religion that don't like you to swear even with mild oaths, is that everyone knows that when you say bejabbers you mean bejesus. And, not only does everyone know it, but when they hear you say bejabbers, they immediately think, in the interior depths of their pure minds, bejesus. They are sinning in their minds while being righteous in their words. Didn't bejesus, or was it Jesus, have something to say about that?

Conclusion

I think I am absolutely hopeless. I will never get through this dictionary, at least this year. Where is the befocus when I need it?

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