"18 Why did you bring me forth from the womb? Would that I had died before any eye had seen me, 19 and were as though I had not been, carried from the womb to the grave. 20 Are not the days of my life few? Let me alone, that I may find a little comfort 21 before I go, never to return, to the land of gloom and deep darkness, 22 the land of gloom and chaos, where light is like darkness."
A. The passage is reminiscent of Job 3. Reread that text and show some of the similarities with 10:18-22.
B. If we look closely at 10:18-22, we see that verses 18-19 pick up on Job 3:11ff. and 21-22 pick up on Job 3:1-10. That is, Job 10 "reverses" the order of Job 3, which itself was a reversal of some of the themes of Psalm 139. What we have here, then, is a sort of double reversal, where the person doubled over in torment now becomes doubled over once again (is he then folded fourfold?). But the effect of it is that the first words of speech one (Job 3) and the last words of speech three (Job 9-10) leave us in darkness. Is it hard for you to deal with a person who is so "darkness" oriented?
C. Even though the similarities with Job 3 are striking, a major difference should be mentioned. In ch. 3 Job will speak in the 3rd person. He is overwhelmed by the loss that has come upon him and all he can do is express his desire to return to darkness. But here, he uses the 2nd person--"Why did you bring me forth...?" What is the effect of this language on the reader? Job certainly has a "personal relationship" with God, doesn't he? How much good does that do him?
D. I like the phrase, which most commentators don't even mention, "carried from the womb to the grave" (v. 19). What is the picture that such a phrase communicates?
E. The Hebrew word "little" appears twice in v. 20, at the beginning and end of the verse. "Give me a little time so that I can get a little comfort" is the sense of the verse. Job we know is a "big guy"--the greatest man in the East. Now he is reduced to asking for little things, a little time, a little comfort. How does personal disaster tend to make us alter our view of ourselves?
F. Striking in v. 20 is the phrase "Let me alone...." What Job is requesting of God is that God give him some "breathing space" by leaving him alone (see also 7:16). The Hebrew verb in the second part of the verse is literally, "so that I might shine" or "be cheerful." The usual biblical pattern is that the Psalmist seeks God because he knows that God is a source of blessing. The Psalmist wants God's face to "shine" on the people (cf. Ps. 67). In God's presence is fulness of joy (Ps. 16:11). Job, in contrast, wants God to depart so that he might shine for a little time. Have you ever felt like you wanted the "comfort" of God's absence?
G. Verses 21-22 then bring us into the land where Job wants to return. He will "shine" in his land of darkness. What is characteristic of this land? Remarkable to me is Job's varied vocabulary of darkness. He uses five Hebrew terms. I could try to come up with five English synonyms, such as "darkness, gloom, deep darkness," etc. but that would be more of a linguistic than interpretive excercise. What Job is doing is ransacking the dictionary for every word he can think of that expresses the deep gloom of darkness. One of the terms, salamavet, has in its last five letters the Hebrew word for "death." Thus, there is something in Job's gloomy utterances that wants the return of death. Do you ever repeat yourself, trying to exhaust Roget's, so to speak, to express an idea? When you or others do that, what are you/they trying to say? Some cultures have several words for darkness or gray because they spend part of the year in total darkness or in dusky/dark conditions. Why not just read Job's use of five terms to express the darkness/chaos as a sign of intellectual "adaptation" to his surroundings?
H. Let's close this lesson with the last few words of v. 22. Job utters two thoughts--"no order" (or "chaos" in the NRSV) and "where light is like darkness." Have you ever longed for chaos? What did you mean when you thought you wanted it? When Job says "where light is as darkness," he is again reversing Ps. 139. In that Psalm the darkness is not darkness to God, but is really light. Now, for Job, light is not really light, but darkness. Touche, Psalmist! Would Job be on your guest list for a Holiday party? for anything?
Concluding Thought