John Edwards II
Bill Long 8/11/08
Redeeming the Situation?
The result of this "threefold cord" of image construction is that the seemingly invincible person is as vulnerable as a child wandering into the middle of a street. He thinks of himself as strong and loved and protected but, in fact, he is as exposed to the elements as a shirtless person among the Aleuts. And, the really big question for John Edwards now is not whether Elizabeth will dump him (she won't, in my judgment; there is too much at stake in the family), but whether he will be able to lose the image of himself with which he was in love for so long and learn to see himself as a rather fallible, sometimes bumbling, middle-aged man--like the rest of us born in the early 1950s.
If he really takes his "fall" to heart, I think he will probably fall into a considerable depression. In fact, I think he ought to become depressed. For, the major picture that he had of himself, which he had assiduously cultivated since youth, is basically not true. People don't live their lives based on what John Edwards does. People aren't saved by his winsome smile, articulate presentation, brilliant policy analysis, or personal presence. He has done some pretty good things in life; he won some tort verdicts for people who were injured. That is a good thing. It is good to help people who can't help themselves and actually give them something to help put their lives back together. But not if you begin to see yourself as one whom "people need." For, fundamentally, people don't need you--except for your family and a few friends.
But when a man has been in love with his image so long has to confront his true humanity, it isn't a pleasant experience. Some may never recover from the confrontation. I don't really know if John Edwards has the wherewithal to face himself. The interview he gave with Bob Woodruff gave me hope; he seemingly took responsibility for his conduct and was truly shamed by the pain he caused other people, beginning with his wife. Maybe this is a time for him truly to recover his spiritual roots; to engage in a program of study and prayer; to fast for a while; to go away and take the first strides in learning to establish a new rhythm in life; to take joy, if that is possible, in the little things that are gifts to us all, regardless of how talented we think we are. I wish him well in this endeavor.
Conclusion--Thinking About America
More than one man living in the public view has "fallen" because of his sexual dalliances; many more, in fact, have probably taken themselves out of public life or refused to enter into it because of the risk that they will be "exposed" and life will come crashing down around them. A case in point is the former Governor of Oregon Neil Goldschmidt. There was no more promising Wunderkind in American politics 35 years ago than Neil. He was elected to the mayoralty of a major American city (Portland, OR) at the tender age of 32. But he didn't stop there. He pursued a vigorous agenda of breathing life into a sleepy NW City, developing a transportation infrastructure that so caught the eye of future Democratic Presidential candidate Jimmy Carter, that when Carter was elected, Goldschmidt became his Secretary of Transportation.
But it didn't stop there. After his service in Washington, DC, Neil was hired by Nike to promote them globally. Then, he was elected Governor of Oregon in 1986. His youthful persona had morphed into a distinguished gray, and everyone knew that Neil was the biggest mover and shaker in the state, almost as popular as perennial favorite US Sen. Mark O. Hatfield. But then, a few years ago, a story that had sort of dogged him for a decade finally came out. He had, while mayor of Portland, had sexual relations with his kids' baby sitter. He was in his mid-30s; she was 15-16. The story broke a few years ago; Goldschmidt's massive and skillful efforts to confine the damage by calling it an "affair," didn't work. He was plunged into a sort of spiritual exile and, in fact, has left the state. The expansive spaces of the 9th largest state are not big enough now to contain the miasmic presence of the man. Or, that is how the story has played out.
Conclusion
We tend to get into trouble whenever we lose touch with our basic humanity and human needs and begin to adopt and love the image of ourselves that we and others eagerly help us construct. The "image-construction" process really is like taking a drug, a mind-altering cocktail that ends up convincing us that we are much more than we think we are. The ancient Greeks had a story that one could drink from the river of Lethe and forget all things that happened to you in the past; we need a story about the powerful narcotic effect of tasting the sense of our own goodness, virtuousness and indispensability. It tastes so sweet in the mouth, and even feels good "going down." But unless we tend to have grounding experiences or people, we will fall in love with that image.
John Edwards might have indeed only been in love with one woman for 31 years, but what he didn't say is that he has also been in love with an image of himself for much longer than he has loved Elizabeth. And, breaking that love affair will be the most difficult thing he will ever confront. I wish him well in the process. It is very difficult for us to do, especially when there is just so much to love about us...
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