Christian Dating II--A Humorous Online Look

4. One of the younger women (mid-20s) said proudly that she was a recent graduate from an online college program in "Christian women's studies." Again, that sent me scratching my head. If it was "women's studies," or as it is called today in most schools "gender studies," I would have conjured up pictures of 40-something women whose spiritual forebears fought the good fight in the 1980s to establish a separate "women's studies" program that was renamed in the late 1990s, and who are vaguely bitter today because they have been self-Balkanized in the university. They were warned by their male colleagues 25 years ago never to start a "women's studies" program, since it would isolate them, rather than fulfill a vision of broad interdisciplinary study. And, guess what, the guys were right. So, in 2008, gender studies programs are having methodological and practical problems. But my good Christian young woman, with a degree in "Christian women's studies" couldn't have been a product of that kind of system. I conjured up in my mind a picture of the women sitting in class and learning why they shouldn't be ordained to the ministry and why God called them to work with women and/or children. Maybe someone can help me out here...

5. I kept searching, now with a hint of personal desperation, as if I was trying to come up with "my match" and then feeling so desperately mismatched. But I removed myself from the equation, and continued my search. One woman had this to say: "I love the Lord with all my heart and enjoy embracing in his presence." Again, my mind was filled with images of what that might mean. Hugs after church in the chancel? Hugs anywhere, since God is omnipresent? Spiritual hugs only? I wasn't going to touch that one...

6. Then, someone characterized what she was looking for as follows: "Looking for a friendship that God is in the middle of." I thought..hm, maybe she knows the woman from #5, for certainly if your friendship has God in the middle, you will hug in God's presence. But how do you get God in the middle in a friendship? Is it like a chaperone in between you two, to keep you from having fun? Or, is it some kind of shadowy spiritual presence? If so, how do you know that God is really "in the middle" and not skulking on the sidelines? I left this one, too..

6. Then, there were a few typos, but they gave me pause. One woman described herself as a "single indepentandent woman." What could that mean? Another said: "I love the Lord (a seemingly obligatory opening confession) and ejoy spending time with my family and friends." I hadn't run into the word ejoy previously, but I thought that with the proliferation of "e-things" in our day (email, etrade, ecommerce, ebay, etc..), that this woman was one who might be living a "virtual" and not "real" life. She is into "ejoy," perhaps through being an expert in emoticon representation. I didn't want to find out..

7. A lot of time people seem to be at a loss for words, as if filling out a profile took them by surprise. As a result, people endlessly repeat cliches or introduce contradictions that are quite humorous when you think about it. One woman said: "I am an incurable romantic that has been tempered by reality." I thought for a moment, 'How can something untempered (incurable) become tempered?' I think I am beginning to put too much thought into this, don't you?

8. Then, some people see their profile as an occasion to wax eloquently on aspects of personal philosophy. One woman said, "Although equally wonderful, we are all different. Everyone is not for me, and I am not for everyone." I was glad I was sitting in a chair when the profundity of this observation washed over me.

9. Then, there is the type of person who may know who she is but just can't seem to find the right words to describe it. Ya know what I mean? Well, one said: "It is hard to describe who I am. Once you get to know me, and then you can describe me who I am." I think she was trying to be humorous in this, but I don't believe that the managers of "The Right Stuff" dating website (for Ivy League, and near-Ivy schools) will be getting a call from her any time soon... By the way, I checked to make sure--and English was the first (and only) language of this woman.

10. Then, there are those women who seem to be available but really are not. What are they doing on the web site? Who really knows, but this one caught my attention: "My heart is spoken for, and soon my hand will be as well" (does he soon get the rest of the body, or do you have to go organ by organ?). But she wasn't yet finished: "My paid subscription is now at an end." This, indeed, is information that we all need to know. So, we can't contact her, she isn't interested in me, someone is already speaking for her various bodily parts, and there may be none left for me. What is a man to do?

11. Then, most bluntly, one woman said, "I am considering becoming a nun." I wonder if she wanted male friends to help her make that choice...

12. I found one final statement in an area of my interest. I work out regularly and want a woman who also is very conscious of her health/body through keeping in shape. One person said that she was healthy and was "praying to get back into an exercise regime." I believe in prayer, but it made me wonder, 'What do you have to pray about? Just get out there and exercise!'

Conclusion

Those of you who read my site with any diligence know that I love words, and that I have been a competitive speller for four years. I am generally not judgmental with respect to other people's spelling, believing that there is so much for me to learn that others will get to their level of comfort with words without my saying much to them. But I just had to notice one error that one woman made. She had just left the military and wrote, "Upon seperation from the service, I turned my life around. My life with God used to be non-existant." Now, if we could only get the "e's" and the "a's" switched around, maybe we could get somewhere...

So, I left the site and my friend with a sort of rueful countenance. I guess the chances of finding my 'true match' in this kind of site are small. I tried one more valiant effort. I decided to do a quick search for women with doctorates who live within 500 miles of me. When the first one that came up was 300 miles away and was 19 years-old, I saw that this also might present problems. Well, maybe I should just get back to my writing...

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