Mom's Moral Minute II by Cynthia Beck

One of the things that dawned on me as I was working through Cynthia's books is that the lessons are just as much for adults as for children. Though adults realize more than children the complexities, the greys, the tangled webs of moral chiolces, we still benefit from simple statements or stories intended to teach life's basic concepts. I often have said to my students that if you are confused, return to first principles. If we apply this to the moral sphere, we can see the value of Cynthia Beck's treatment. Well, let's dive into three of her lessons, to see what she has to say.

Persistence

I think that one of the most important lessons in life is persistence. Things often don't work the way you want them to the first, or even the tenth, time. But children don't know that lesson. Their fund of life experience is meager; and they may think that a rebuff in their first effort is a sign that all striving is useless. So, I enjoyed Cynthia Beck's little story and narrative about persistence (p. 15, vol. 1). She defines it: "Continuing firmly and stubbornly. Lasting. Continuing." Any seven-year old can understand that. Then she tells the story of a dog trying to get out of a fenced yard. Actually, the story she tells not only illustrates persistence but also trying different methods to get to your goal when you are thwarted in the first attempt. Holly Mabutas' illustration shows the dog burrowing under a fence, one of the methods he pursued to try to get out. Visual as well as verbal learners thus "get the point." Then, she turns to a brief illustration of the story--through Thomas Edison's attempts to create the incandescent bulb. Her "theological" point is that God persists in His love toward us, and the questions for consideration that follow are "Is there something you have wanted to do but couldn't? What did you try? When have you succeeded by being persistent?" The questions allow what I call a "moral dialogue," where the child begins to see his/her life as a text or sourcebook for learning wisdom. The lesson can be "learned" in a minute; indeed, it is written so that a child could read it to the parent. It honors different learning styles. It enables parent or teacher and child to go away with the feeling that something of value has been learned. Persistence (and ingenuity) work. That Cynthia put it in the section on "courage" is also significant: persistence is, for her, not simply something you do because you are stubborn or angry; it arises out of courage.

Risk

When I was reading her treatment of "risk," it dawned on me that this book was as much for adults as for children. Maybe I was more interested in the subject of risk because I taught Insurance Law for several years, and the basic purpose of insurance is to provide a means to live one's life in the midst of risk. I always ask my students if they are more "risk-averse" or "risk-seeking," types of people. We know ourselves when we learn how we deal with risk. In fact, I think the issue of learning to deal with risk--physical danger, relationships, health, financial, rejection-- is one of most difficult issues of life. Thus, when Cynthia Beck gave examples of risk (nicely defined as "a chance of loss or harm"), my interest was piqued. Though she illustrated risk through the story of a child who was reluctant to extend her hand to a dog after being bitten by one, despite the fact that she would have loved to pet one, I "heard" the story as my reluctance to extend myself in certain kinds of relationships which have not worked successfully for me previously. Then, she gives her practical advice:

"In life, there is always a chance that things won't work out the way we want them to. When we approach a dog, we risk that we might get growled at. If we ride a bike, we might get hurt. When we play a game, we risk that we might not win," (p. 17, vol. 1).

So true. How, then, do we live? Realizing that "if you only remember the sting, you won't risk trying again." At the end she quotes Garth Brooks: "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have missed the dance." Well, I am not going to go jump off a cliff now that I have read her words, but I am willing to reevaluate my choices and wonder if I can't "push" the risk a little more in my life.

Wonder

I will close this essay with a brief consideration of wonder, which she puts in the section on "peace" (p. 41, vol. 2). Aristotle was a firm believer in the fact that all philosophy emerged from wonder, and Cynthia Beck really feels no differently. She illustrates things that are wonderful that we often pass by in our haste to get somewhere else--the beating of our own heart, the appearance and disappearance of clouds, the minutest particles in the universe. To have a sense of wonder is "to be curious," and the things that engage our curiosity are endless. To think that one can devote one's life to things that make one wonder is really a gift of grace. But then she ties in the theological dimension. God made the universe an amazing place. It is a sign of the divine creativity that things are the way they are. Science can explain many things, and it longs to explain it all. I was expecting her to say in her theological section that knowing God opens up our wonder for the universe still further, but she emphasized that spending time with God helps understand how wonderful God is and how wonderful you are. Fair enough, though I was also expecting a sense of wonder at life and the universe in general to develop through knowing God. She closes the treatment of wonder by a beautiful quotation by Mary Ann Brussat:

"The world is vibrant and moving toward you with rare and wonderful surprises. Remember you are standing on holy ground."

Never lose a sense of awe, of wonder, for nature's miracles. I suppose no Nobel Prize winner would disagree.

Conclusion

After spending some time with these small magazine-sized volumes I think that they can be useful both in formal (classroom) and informal (one on one) settings. They give a quick message in a direct form, though they allow discussion and rumination by the learners. I think in the future that this book can actually be refined not necessarily by adding 100 more "moral minutes," but by continually returning to some of the "minutes" she has here and deepening them. The lessons Cynthia Beck has here isolated are enough for one's youth, or maybe even one's lifetime--I look forward to her "massaging" the concepts more deeply, and directing them to other audiences, as time goes on. We, as well as our children, need this. We never get so old or mature as to leave these lessons behind.

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