intimate apparel and lynn nottage and relationships

In addition to the "letter" relationships described in the previous essay, we have at least seven relationships of varying degrees of intimacy which the play probes or mentions. They are: (1) Esther and George after they get married; (2) Esther and Mrs. Van Buren, the society lady; (3) Esther and the Mayme, the prostitute; (4) Esther and Mrs. Dickson, her landlady; (5) Esther and Mr. Marks, her supplier; (6) George and Mayme; (7) Mrs. Van Buren and her husband. Space doesn't permit an exploration of all of these relationships. The following points are intended to encourage you to reflect on how they "work," however. To let you know my "bottom line," I will argue that Nottage never portrays a male-female relationship "working," and that the only one that has a chance of working because of obvious "chemistry" between the two (Esther and Mr. Marks), cannot work because of religious and racial difference. Thus, even though the play seems to end on an "up" note--with Esther re-established at her sewing desk after her husband has left her, it seems also to be bottomed on despair with respect to whether male/female relationships really can "work."

Esther and Mr. Armstrong

We learn very quickly after their marriage that Esther and Mr. Armstrong really aren't fit for each other. Esther is a deeply reflective and religious person, whose patient work at sewing and painful shyness are not mirrored well in Mr. Armstrong's character. He is a rough-living and unreflective worker, whose pride is quickly clipped in the stratified New York society and whose religious language in his letters was really not sincerely spoken. He, predictably, has or develops a drinking problem, and eventually is offended by the thought of his wife as a sexual being. He wants a woman who is freer with her body, and this he finds in Mayme, the prostitute and friend of Esther. But Esther is almost desperate to maintain his love and his attention, and finds herself foolishly giving him every penny of her hard-earned savings over 18 years in hopes that he will just hug her and treat her with love. Love is a dream, a sort of construction of the imagination, and it grips and controls our longings, despite its often evanescent character.

Even as Esther's relationship with George falls apart, however, we have other male-female relationships lacking intensity and true intimacy. Mayme turns tricks with regularity, even though she is not a heartless or cold woman. She had talent as a concernt pianist, and often will thinking longingly on what might have happened had she pursued that career sitting rather than her current career lying on her back. But she, too, is prone, so to speak, to the verbal and physical ministrations of one of her customers, who turns out to be Mr. Armstrong. She, who is barely alive, becomes the more animated with Esther just as Esther's glow begins to fade. The promise of true intimacy works its deceptive magic into the hearts of the women before it leaves them shattered and confused and poorer by far than before they met Mr. Armstrong.

And there is more. Esther is early warned by her landlady, Mrs. Dickson, to beware the wiles of men. She has been around the block numerous times and doesn't feel that Esther is being circumspect enough in entering into a relationship with an unseen man. Men, in Mrs. Dickson's perspective, try to take advantage of women and use them. Esther ignores her well-meaning realism/cynicism and plunges ahead to marry Mr. Dickson.

Then, there is Mrs. Van Buren, the society woman. She is the one who is never short of cash, but she is quite empty in matters of the soul. She plaintively shares with Esther that Esther is the only person to have entered her bourdoir in the past six months, suggesting not only a frosty relationship with Mr. Van Buren but a sense that women's space together provides a level of understanding and communication that is impossible with a man. Indeed, in a "2006 moment" in the play, Mrs. Van Buren at one instant plants a kiss on Esther's lips.

The Potential "Good" Relationship

When Mr. Armstrong leaves Esther, her life is in shambles. She tries to break off relationships with all of her intimate partners perhaps as a result of the shame she feels because her marriage went aground. But she and Mr. Marks are intextricably drawn to one another. At first the intermediary of their love is fabric--it receives the caresses of Mr. Marks and the loving hugs of Esther. But as time goes on their eyes meet, and in one revelatory moment in the play Esther actually touches Mr. Marks, something that is forbidden in his religion (he can only touch his wife and his female relatives). The chemistry is unmistakable; the longing between the two is palpable; the sense of soul-connection is patent. But they cannot "connect" with each other because of the strictures of the times. If George Armstrong gets discouraged because he isn't interested in taking a job in one of the few avenues open to a black man (a porter or bellman in a city hotel), both Mr. Marks and Esther would be shunned by a society which wouldn't understand interracial coupling, much less a marriage between a Black Christian from NC and a Romanian Jew from NYC. The "right" relationships don't work for a variety of reasons and the one " wrong" relationship cannot work because of societal prejudice.

The Play Ends

And so, after losing her money and her husband, Esther trudges back to Mrs. Dickson's boarding house in order to see if her room remains unrented. In fact, it is still available. The final scene of the play shows Esther sitting down at her sewing maching and flexing her fingers with obvious delight. She is wiser; she has shown her resilience; she has triumphed over the waves that threatened to upset the bark of her life. We are left with a sense of the strength of the human spirit and the feeling that if Esther is to make it, it will have to be because of her own fingers, her own efforts, with no help from a man. Perhaps that is the message of the play, and it is an upbeat message. But a message I also got was that male/female relationships are just not going to work. They lead to cynicism or emotional distance or deceit or broken hearts. Maybe they do, indeed. But, still, people of all ages will continue to hope. Despite the "odds." Despite the potential pain. Maybe, we think, it will "work." And, maybe it will. Intimate Apparel helps provide the context for asking these questions anew in a focused and fresh way. And that, indeed, is worth the cost of admission.

2023