Baking a Cake and chocolate cake and gerry frank

Last Wednesday, after the three faculty legal secretaries (Andrea, Candace and Chris) heard of my attempts to bring a higher level of gastronomic fare to my son and me, they unanimously greeted me with the question, "Well, Bill, are you going to enter the chocolate cake-baking contest for March 1?" I told them that I appreciated their support as I tried to make honey-cranberry chicken or three-cheese pasta, but that a chocolate cake, especially for a contest, was just a little bit out of my league. After all, the people who would enter the contest would mostly be women in their 30s-60s who had been baking cakes for years. I just wouldn't want to embarrass myself. In addition, one of the judges of the contest was none other than Gerry Frank, arguably Salem's most famous citizen and cake-taster. Gerry, who is celebrated in this article, is the author of Where to Find It, Buy It, Eat It in New York, which is now in its 13th edition and has sold 1,000,000 copies. Finally, I had never made a cake in my life, and I wasn't going to make a fool of myself before Gerry Frank and all the staff of the law school.

But the intrepid trio continued to encourage, and even badger (they say it was "coax") me a bit, and I finally relented. But I had no time to make a cake. This was the busiest time of the year for me, as I had a two-day seminar in KS over the weekend of Feb. 24-26 as well as an extra lecture for our 3rd-year students on bar preparation on Feb. 22. Thus, I decided that if I had time to buy a box of cake mix and can of frosting, and if the cake would take me no more than a few minutes to put together, I would enter the contest. At least I could be given credit for trying.

Selecting the Cake

So, on Monday night (Feb. 27), I picked up at Roth's a box of Betty Crocker Super Moist Chocolate Fudge Mix, along with the Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy Frosting with "Real Butter." I selected them primarily because they were the first things my eye fell upon as my son and I were shopping for dinner. But then work and essay writing took all my time, and all of a sudden it was 11:30 p.m. on Tuesday, and no cake had been made. So, I put aside my insurance and sales law, hastily read the instructions and began to mix the vegetable oil, water and cake mix. I noted on the instructions that it called for two speeds of beater (low and medium) to beat the mix, but since I didn't have an electric beater (I was too cheap to buy one Monday night), I decided to use my whisk at two different "wrist-speeds." Indeed, I sheepishly admit that I actually looked for a hand "egg-beater" at the store, but the 18 year-old saleswoman informed me that she didn't know what an egg-beater was--it sounded like it was "so 90s." So, I felt completely out of it as I tried gamely to whisk the mixture at midnight last night.

I poured it all into the glass pyrex 9" X 13" pan that I bought for $6.99 and stuck it in the oven. It called for 350 heat for 33-38 minutes, but I blasted it at 375 or so for 30 minutes because I was getting tired. It said to stick a toothpick in the heated mixture to see if it was finished, but I had no toothpick, so I inserted an assortment of sharp objects into the cake to see if they came out "clean." Finally, they did. Then, I decided to put the icing on it that night, but the cake was too hot at 12:30 to do it. So, I stuck it in the freezer, thinking to cool it off, but then I abandoned that idea a few minutes later, and decided to let it cool while I was sleeping. I awoke this morning, spread the icing on it, ripping little holes in the cake as I went, patching them as I could, and then dashed off to school.

The Contest

Before I went to my insurance class at 9:10 I showed my creation to the secretaries. They kindly oohed and aahed, as if I was showing off a new baby. I did the final patch job on the frosting around 11 and then put my cake alongside the 9 other cakes in the newly reconstructed faculty lounge. I could tell that the other cakes were made by experienced hands--the flourishes of icing, the presentation, and the perfectly-round layers all told me that the others were made by experts indeed.

The judging of the cakes was to take place at 3:00 p.m. I was unable to be there for it, since two of my former Stoel Rives LLP colleagues, Richard Vangelisti and Scott Kocher, who now have formed their own firm (appropriatately known as Vangelisti Kocher LLP) stopped by my office for a visit. We chatted amiably about their ambitions for their personal injury-related law firm, and I commended them in their efforts. Richard and Scott are both intelligent, compassionate, knowledgeable and very trustworthy lawyers. I think they will have the leading "PI" practice, as it is called, in the Northwest in a few years.

After Richard and Scott left, I ventured out to check my mail and do some other errands, and the secretaries greeted me with a unanimous, "Congratulations!" I thanked them, knowing they were trying to make me feel included, since only two of the ten cakes were made by men (the other one was put together by Edwin Peterson, former Chief Justice of the Oregon Supreme Court). Then they informed me that Gerry Frank and the other judge had awarded my cake Second Prize. I knew they were really trying to make me feel good, but they insisted that it was true. I got second prize. Something about the moistness and chocolaty flavor of the cake, I think...

Conclusion

Actually, as it turned out, it was fortunate that I wasn't present while the judging was taking place. Before he took a bite of the cakes, I was told, Gerry Frank launched into a speech on the superiority of cakes made from scratch. His judge's card had me tied for first, though the other judge had me a few points below that other competitor (Cathy McCann, who had gotten her recipe on Oprah's web site).

And so I left the office, more bemused and even bewildered than delighted. My son seemed vaguely amused by the news when I arrived home but made no effort to sample my award-winning cake. I guess I will just finish it off tonight, or put it in the student lounge, where it will disappear quicker than water in the Arabian Desert. Actually, I have been snacking on the cake incessantly as I was writing this essay. In fact, I am feeling a little sick right now..

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