I Lost a Girl: Thinking on the Breakup of a Relationship

Little did I realize that when I started studying and writing about Jan & Dean, one of my favorite music groups from the early to mid-1960s, that I would be setting the title of one of their songs on its head. Their 1965 hit, "I Found a Girl," put out through Liberty Records and reaching # 30 on the charts, was such a cute tribute to youth--"Anybody can see just by looking at me that I found a girl..." "I'm feeling groovy tonight because I found a girl..." "I lived a life of misery but things are different now..." Their sound, fueled in the early 1960s by teeny-bopper doo-wop music focusing on entertaining and exciting pubescent girls, had morphed by 1963, when they decided they also wanted to attract the guys to listen to their music. Five top-ten hits within two years was the result. After all, if you were a pimply-faced, insecure guy in the mid-1960s, and you heard a cool group of blond CA guys singing about how there were "two girls for every guy" lounging on the CA beaches, wouldn't you also want to buy their records? But then, in 1964-65, they returned to some of their "girl" songs from earlier days with "New Girl in School" (37), or "I Found a Girl" (30).

All this is fascinating history, and I will probably tell it in more detail in the future, but today I am not thinking about that. I am thinking about how "I lost a girl" through my carelessness, lack of interest and even cruelty. This essay is a sort of tribute to the "girl" I lost, a little bit of a cry for help, but mostly a lament to my seeming inability to identify and deal with forces within that sabotage intimate relationships.

A Song

She used to like me to sing to her, especially a German song which I learned as a youth because my parents listened to it. It is the only "Swabian" song (i.e., written in the Swabian dialect of German) that attained any note in American music. It means a lot to me, also, because I studied for a year in Tuebingen, the heart of Swabian country, in Germany. Thus, I have multiple wonderful memories associated with this song. It is called "Muss I denn." Let me give you the three verses in German, with appopriate translations, and let that be the sad song of my heart today. "Muss i denn" is a song of one who loves a girl but knows that he must also travel and thus be subject to the allures of the world 'out there.' Nevertheless, he vows to be true to her, and promises to marry her within a year. Let's listen to the words. A YouTube video is here, even though the accent of the singer isn't "Schwabish," nor are the words always translated precisely correctly in the subtitles.

"Muss i denn muss i denn zum Stadele hinaus
und du mein Schatz, bleibst here
Wenn ich komm, wenn ich komm, wenn ich wieder wieder komm, wieder wieder komm
Kehr ich ein mein Schatz bei dir
Kann ich auch nicht immer bei dir sein
Hab ich doch mein Freud an dir,
Wenn ich komm, wenn ich komm, wenn ich wider
wieder komm, wieder wieder komm
Kehr ich ein mein Schatz bei dir."

And, a passable translation is:

If I must, if I must leave our little town, leave our little town and you, my treasure, remain here;
When I return, return, again and again return,
I will turn to you, my treasure.
If I can't always be with you
Yet, I have my joy in you.
When I return, return, again and again return,
I will turn to you, my treasure.

Just not the same in English, is it? I would sing it to my girlfriend, holding her and looking at her as I sung it. She didn't understand the words, but she loved it nevertheless. The second stanza is this:

"Wenn du weinst, wenn du weinst dass ich wandern muss, wandern muss
So als war die Liebe vorbei;
Sind auch drauss, sind auch drauss der Madele so viel, Madele so viel, liebe Schatz ich blieb dir treu.
Denkst du nicht wenn ich ne andere seh
Dass sei meine Lieb vorbei
Sind auch drauss, sind auch drauss der Madele so viel, Madele so viel, liebe Schatz ich blieb dir treu."

Then, a translation:

When you cry, when you cry because I must wander/travel, so that it seems that our love is over. (Why?) Because there are, out there, many many young girls, but, dear treasure, I will remain true to you. Don't think that when I see others, that my love for you has gone. There are, out there, many many young girls, but, dear treasure, I will remain true to you."

The final verse moves with dramatic slowness to its flourishing conclusion.

"Ubers Jahr, ubers Jahr wenn die Rosen wieder bluh'n, Rosen wieder bluh'n
Stell ich hier mich wieder ein,
Bin ich dann, bin ich dann, dein Schatzele noch
Schatzele noch, So soll die Hochzeit sein.
Ubers Jahr da ist die Zeit vorbei
und dann wird ich wieder dein
Bin ich dann, bin ich dann dein Schatzele noch
Schatzele noch, so soll die Hochzeit sein
So soll die Hochzeit sein."

And the translation?

"Within a year, within a year, when the roses bloom again, roses bloom again, I will place myself here again. Then will I be your little treasure still, your little treasures still, and so we will get married. When one year is past, then I will be yours again; I will be your little treasure still, your little treasure still, and thus will we be married. Thus, will we be married."

Conclusion

So, these words, rather than the teeny-bopping sentiments of Jan & Dean, are on me and with me today. When I sang her "Muss i denn" many times, I was serious about it, even if I never translated it for her. But because of my seeming inability to stay with anything good for any length of time, whether it is a job or a person, I can no longer sing the song to her. And, as I am feeling today, maybe never to anyone. That, indeed, is my life today.

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